Last night I had a nightmare. It was about the universe, its vastness. I could feel it, how enormous it all is. And how small we are in comparison. I felt so small.
And as I stood on the hillside, looking into the endless dark, I became aware of some things. Indescribable things, impossible things. It hurt to be aware of them, blasphemy to the eyes and all reason.
And they looked on me with such powerful hatred. They could kill me with no effort, like blowing out a candle.
I was so afraid. So scared.
And I felt like searching for Lina was pointless. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it's better to give in to the mindless chaos of the crumbling universe and the impenetrably foolish ways of man. Let it all fall apart.
I know it was just a dream, but it felt so real.
It was unlike anything I've experienced before, asleep or awake.
I think it may have a lot to do with my worry and all this stress and the big search that we start on today (Torrance and Frank and Fran are going to meet us in the parking garage of the complex).
My nerves are still unsettled. With everything I know is out there, I can't help but wonder if something was getting into my head.
I guess I should go get ready. I'm mostly packed, in case the trip takes a few days.
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